Women's 7 deadly sins: #1 Shoes

I live in the country side in a quite rural and remote place along a country road. The next baker is 5 kms away and the next tiny supermarket (or what goes for that hereabouts) even further. Before we moved here I have been living in St. Pauli, the amusement district in Hamburg, with sex shops, tattoo studios and concert halls virtually next doors. I don't really mind living in the country most days. I have children in the kindergarten age who benefit greatly from the garden and outdoors activity. I don't have to search our sandbox for used condoms or needles before I let them play there and even the road in front of the house is safe enough for the first attempts on their bikes. But two or three times a year I miss the city. That is because while the marsh where I live offers great hunting opportunities for foil it offers zero hunting opportunities for fashionable shoes. You guess it, like many other women out there I like to spend too much on shoes. I have nothing from Manolo Blahnik - not because I don't like his designs, but because spiky high heels are not really recommended for the squishy marsh grounds here. Instead my favourite brands are Audley, Konstantin Starke, sometimes Jimmy Choo but most of all from the spanish god of shoes - Pedro Garcia.
Many many years ago I bought a pair of Swarovsky studded titan silver sandals from Pedro Garcia at the Hamburg Jungfernstieg Shoe Shop "Prange Duo" - to date my very favourite shoes and worth every cent of their exorbitant around 250 Euro price (seems a lot for a bit of sole with two straps of cloths).

It was an older (and more beautiful) brother to the Modell "Sissi Gold Lurex" thongs shown in the above picture that can be bought at 210,00 Euros at footlux.com. Garcia brings out a re-release of this kind of shoe almost every season slightly changed for variety and to go with the current fashion trends. I have acquired several other models by Garcia from sandals via loafers to high heeled pumps and boots and all of them are very well made. Garcia likes to work with svarovsky stones, punk elements and like most top class designers he always brings out a wide range of high heels, but he has proved repeatedly that he can do low heels and no heels and still look classy. Therefore I like his flats (especially flat sandals) and his boots best (the below picture shows this season's flat boots modell "Kaori" which sells for 300,00 Euros at footlux.com). There's too many frilly and over-decorated pumps out there already.

My favourite high heels therefore are plain but classy grey suede with a small Robin Hood-like detail to them. And they are not from Pedro Garcia but from Konstantin Starke. But suede ... shudder! It is such a delicate material that I hardly ever dare to wear them, therefore they lead a sad shadow existence within their original shoe box and only get taken out about once a year.

Triangles and Tears

Anyone who's been following this blog knows I read mangas. There has been one aspect of shoujo romances that is seriously bugging me. That is the typical and cliché way that love triangles are inevitably a prominent feature and I really really hate them. I hate all stories that involve too much jealousy, possibly because I am weak to it myself.

You have the heroine A and hero B and either a girl who wants to snatch B from A or a guy who is going after A. That's a shitty situation - anyone who has gone through something like that knows it's true. It is unavoidable that then my chest seems to hurt and my heart feels like a shriveled umeboshi, my blood turns cold inside my veins, my stomach feels queesy and my legs feel weak. This is the green-eyed snake called jealousy raising its head.



So many manga series have love triangles. Some of these raise the snake big time. Like "Hot Gimmick" by Aihara Miki, "Bokura ga ita" (see my blog "wallow in misery" from last month ...) by Obata Yuuki, "Hot Blooded Woman" by Hwang Mi Ri (see my blog "Sick-O from last month), "Akuma de Sourou" (The Devil does exist - see above picture) by Takanashi Mitsuba or "Hana Yori Dango" (aka "Boys over Flowers") by Kamio Yoko. There are some typical moments like when the bride that the heroes parents want him to marry pops up for a bit of mischief and some dramatic moments. She is usually gorgeous and our poor every-day-girl heroine will get some serious minority complex in comparison. Anyone who ever had a formidable competitor in a love triangle will feel queasy. Than there is of course the male rival who tries to seperate the couple. He does not bug me half as much as the female, I may feel a twinge of pity for hero B but that is about it - more over deep down I usually suspect that he deserves to suffer. I guess this derives from the fact that the manga is shown more from the heroines perspective and more directed towards the feelings of a female reader.
Many of these series work with cheap and dirty tricks to raise emotions - despite knowing that and despite recognising it I keep falling into the same emotional trap again and again. Some have some highly unrealistic turns and twists in their plots, and Hwang Mi Ri and especially Kamio Yoko aren't even showing an artwork that makes up for it. On top of that, having been on the losing end of a love triangle before I am weak to this plot, it just really gets to me. I hate the three-wheeler-situation. I know exactly how desperate one feels in the place of being the third wheel on a bicycle. The difference that the heroine in the story may - or rather will probably - overcome the difficulties in front of her and likely win the hero at the end, does not really help - especially if you consider that quite a few shoujo mangas have endings that can not be considered 100% happy endings. And in the love triangle one will lose this game. One will be left behind broken. One will be the villain. I found that many of these love triangle stories are grouped in the categorie "slice of life". Just goes to show that life can really suck.

Some situations get to us more than others. I know someone with a fear of not being loved by his father who starts to cry in movies when father and son are having problems. Movies. Mangas. Books. They may not be the real thing. Yet they can raise our fears. Not for everyone I guess. Some people seem immune. I am not. I am such a weak person to emotions. I cry even when I see comedies or read funny books. One emotional scene, a sad setting, a bit of violin music in the background, dirty plot tricks - bring out the tissues!

When I was reading "Hana yori dango" I strongly experienced the trepidation of expecting disaster for the manga couple. The story is about Makino Tsukushi, a girl from a poor family visiting the prestige expensive elite high school that has the famous stupidly rich and handsome F4 boys. While she is falling for the former autistic, shy and introvert Rui, who is in love with someone else, their leader loud, rude, violent and arrogant Doumyouji Tsukasa lays his black heart at her feat. It takes Tsukushi ages to understand her own heart and she has to learn painful lessons. The real couple - hero and heroine - start to officially go out with each other in volume 19. By that time they have already overcome so many painful love triangles from each side that the reader starts to feel kind of surrealistic. His fiancé, the girl that confessed to him in elementary school and wants to get him for revenge, the son of the politician who falls for Tsukushi, the model who falls for Tsukushi, the childhood friend that falls for Tsukushi. And that is only the problems this couple had with interfering other lovers. Ambitious mothers, money problems and scheming bullies at school add some additional fun. So finally at volume 19 they officially go out with each other. But if you know that there is an alltogether number of 36 volumes plus one epiloguish stand-alone you can guess it won't really all go that smoothly even now. A sadistic mangaka who likes to torture her couple for 19 volumes will not let them live in heavenly bliss for the remaining 17+1 volumes. Besides - no one would probably want to look at a doting happy couple for that long - right? But that "Hana yori dango" is one of the really big, well known and recommended shoujo series must have a reason. And that reason is certainly not the mangaka's art, who is even less than average. At the beginning of the series she can draw exactly 1.5 faces which she only varies with different hairstyles. And these faces are nothing special. Worse - the clothes and the complete sense of taste are a disaster of armageddon-like magnitude. Still I must admit that the artist really improves as the series continues and she even manages some very touching visuals later on. Here one of the better full-page images of Doumyouji Tsukasa. Hey, he looks way to sweet there! :-)

Well, I guess with so many volumes it would be more than weird if she had not improved her style. So after 15 volumes or so she can maybe draw 3 or 4 different faces and it looks like sometime in the next millenium she'll really get the hang of this. Sadly her fashion sense seems beyond the rescue point (let's point out "Akuma de Sourou" here - topmost picture of this blog. The intro pages to the chapters have excellent style and Takanashi's way to dress her various characters at least there has absolute groove. I'd like to go shopping with her and have her pick an outfit for me and take me to her hairdresser). On top of that Kamio Yoko has a weird sense of humour that is going overboard occasionally. So I can't really say that "Hana yori dango" is a masterpiece. I'm actually convinced that is anything but. Reaching volume 19 I found myself wishing the artist would conclude the series after one or to more volumes and let the couple live on happily ever after. I knew it was not going to happen. With another 17+1 volumes - no way does she only want to show us the fun of being boyfriend and girlfriend. I felt sure she had wicked things planned. And I was absolutely sure that there would be more love triangles (I was right, too!) - she is just too fond of them to leave hero and heroine in peace. Despite all that .... of course I could not just stop there. I had to read on. Even though after a long series like this I don't expect to be satisfied with the end. Even Hana Kimi, a series that actually IS a masterpiece had an ending that seemed overly hurried and even the special ending short story to Hana kimi does not offer full closure. I guess I was especially missing a love scene. I know it is stupid, because Hana kimi is a sweet romance with tension but the style makes it absolutely clear that you can not expect more than a passionate embrace and lukewarm kiss at the very most. With "Hana yori dango" I was not so sure. I asked myself if Tsukushi would get to do it with her hero. Sure, the mangaka would probably cut the scene so we would just know it is happening without getting to know much about it. Doesn't matter. Even if it had a love scene with pornographic close-ups I would not be satisfied. After reading about a couple for 37 volumes you just can't be. I had an odd feeling that Kamio wouldn't give me a satisfying end. She has been using cheap tricks all along, so I expected she would use more of them. And as I said before - quite a few mangas have only half happy endings. Remember Hana Kimi (my No.1 favourite shoujo manga and entirely without too painful love triangles): Mizuki has to leave the school and go back to the US. She gets the man, but has to wait for him. Or in Akuma de Sourou: the guy goes to Italy for years and even if they suddenly marry then in the last chapter that continues the story years after the main plot. Hana Yori Dango's ending is just as much a pain the butt. You can deduce that the ending is not offering full closure by the fact that a second "season" is planned for the manga. Poor Tsukushi will probably be sent on another journey of pain and suffering for another 36 volumes. In the end I can't even say that I would not recommend "Hana yori dango" - if a series can draw you in so much, if it can raise these feelings that much there is something to it. It even has quite a few comical moments and in the breaks in between love triangles I really enjoyed it.

For all of you who like to suffer, my manga love triangle reading list:

For real masochists:
* Hana yori dango (Boys over Flowers) by Kamio Yoko
* Hot blooded woman (see my July Blog "Sick-O") by Hwang Mi Ri
* Akuma de Sourou (The Devil does exist) by Takanashi Mitsuba
* Kare first love by Miyasaka Kaho
* Hot Gimmick by Aihara Miki
* Bokura ga ita (see July Blog "Wallow in Misery") by Obata Yuuki

For beginners masochists and love triangle newbies:
* Cutie Boy by Hwang Mi Ri
* MARS by Souryo Fuyumi
* Zettai Kareshi (Absolute Boyfriend) by Watase Yuu
* Alice 19th by Watase Yuu
* Kimi wa petto (We are Tramps) by Ogawa Yayoi

Parallel Universe: If I had been lesbian

Walking along the way of life, each time we have to make a decision it is like standing at a crossroad that can change your future. A few times in my life I have been close to disaster - if I had taken a different way at a prior crossroads I might have been dead - or avoided the situation alltogether. I could have taken the road to become a famous cook. Or ended up a teenage-mother. Or living in Greece. Or a drug addict.
I like to think how my life would have turned out if I had gone a different road. One of my other lifes that I am rather curious about is what it would have been like to if I had been a lesbian.
For some reason quite a few women with whom I talked about the state of Sappho agreed with me that it must be a better world - an easier to bear fate, a friendly place without decades spent sitting next to the telephone in case HE calls. Without worrying about the ample bosom of the bar maid and your dates badly hidden glances down her cleavage. Without scratching beards, hairy buttocks and your favourite yoghurt gone from the fridge. Without having to worry about one-night-stands resulting in pregnancies, without the condom-turn-off and most of all without having to put up with the immense backdrop of living with someone who is handicapped with the y-gene.
I guess lesbians must have their own range of relationship problems and probably get just as sick of them as non-lesbians get of the typical guy-sickness. Do they spend their money for lingerie, women magazines and tights just like the average unfortunate heterosexual-oriented, guy-stuck woman?
I have been an early admirer of the lesbian band "Two nice Girls" (picture), maybe it was the lyrics from "I spent the last 10 $ on birth control and beer" that raised this kind of mild jealousy for lesbian life inside me:

"When I was a young girl like normal girls do
I looked to a woman's love to help get me through
I never needed any more than a feminine touch
I hated the thought of kissing a man it really was too much

I did not drink, I did not smoke I did not say "goddamn"
I was polite I was sensitive before I loved a man
My family, they were proud of me were proud of what I am
But then along came Lester and my tale of woe began

(Chorus)
I spent my last ten dollars on birth control and beer
My life was so much simpler when I was sober and queer
But the love of a strong hairy man has turned my head I fear
And made me spend my last ten bucks on birth control and beer

It was June 1983 when Mary Lou and I did part
She said she loved another dyke my god, it broke my heart
I was bitter and disillusioned to lose another girlfriend
Lester came to work at Papa's store and decided to ease on in

Before my last heartbreak nothing made me more sick
Than a hairy-chested, cheap double-breasted suited man with a hard dick
I guess that I was curious I guess that I was young
I guess it was that rum and coke I guess that I was dumb [...]



Yeah, I AM envious of my own life as a lesbian it sounds care-free, tidy and satisfying. Of course there are recompensations for living with a man.
Like motherhood (which has it good and bad sides, but let's just think of the good sides for now)
Like when you get to take off the suit.
And like when you need someone to open the jam glass or other moments when brute force comes in handy about three times per year.
And I'm sure if I think about this for a few more hours I will probably come up with something else.
I don't really blame the men. Much. It is me who is stupid enough to fall for the pheromone trap. Repeatedly.

Pet and Mistress

From the way I have been presenting mangas so far I could be deduced to be a bishonen-otaku. What has been missing so far is a heroine in the spotlight. That is probably because so far I have been reading mostly shoujo mangas, made for girls and young women - very much like young adult books. But I am not a highschool girl myself and maybe that is why I have my difficulties to really feel with the typical shoujo heroines. If you think it is because I am more attracted to the men ... I kind of feared it could be so myself, but lately I have been reading the 14-volume-josei-series "Kimi wa petto" (other titles/translations: Kimi wa pet, Tramps like us, You are a pet, My pet Momo) a manga that is not a shoujo but meant for more mature women. And suddenly I feel more with the heroine - Sumire is not a young virginal blushing high school girl, but a career woman with some dating and relationship experience and a chain smoker to boot. I feel much closer to her as a person. ;-)
The basic plot idea is something like this: Iwaya Sumire seems to have everything: high education, intelligence, beauty and a fast progressing career as a journalist. But that is exactly why people don't seem to appreciate and bully her with their envy and why she got dumped by her cheating ex-boyfriend with his inferiority complex. She sets a new rule for dating: no men that are shorter than she is, who earn less or are less educated. So when she picks up a good looking boy from the streets and lets him stay with her for free, she decides he can't be her boyfriend, because he does not meet any of the requirements ... she makes him her pet instead and calls him Momo after her old dog. And while Sumire finds a boyfriend who seems perfect for her, the only person who gets to see a certain side of her is her "pet" Momo. Sumire tries to train her pet, but instead it sometimes seems that in this case the pet has a lesson in store for his mistress.

Ah, when I read the plot like this it has a distinct possibility for cheesiness. But despite Sumire's sometimes outlandish views about her pet, the story never wanders into the regions of D/s or other weird stuff. It is mostly romance, a bit of comedy or drama mixed in here and there. There is some sexual content, Sumire has a sex life ... to some degree, but it is not depicted in detail and manages to stay appropriate and almost demure. The characters are nicely built and show a good depth. Sumire is a strong woman who has been hurt a lot and who seems cool and aloof to people when she really is not and does not see herself that way. Her actions are founded on a very peculiar sense of logic that strangely makes her seem almost real. She is also really beautiful. The artist Ogawa Yayoi, who has published at least four other manga books or series, has a simplistic, very clear and trendy style. I especially like the way Sumire's eyes are drawn, less round and glossy than in the shoujo genre, but almost more like the eyes of a bishonen - quite befitting for a woman out of her teens. The Hero, the pretty little pet boy Momo and various side characters are also really well created, but not as vivid as Sumire by far.
I would recommend "Kimi wa petto" to anyone who longs for a more mature heroine or a romance outside of highschool that has sexual tension without smut, a clear and very hip and appealing artwork, an original idea and really good character development.

The Whine

My wild years are dating a good while back. That was when I was wearing the blackest black Helena Rubinstein Mascara and eye liner with pale powder, silver lipstick and black nail vanish. I dressed in black almost exclusively - mini skirts and patterned tights and pointed shoes. I had a version of the gothic flu that was going about for years then. We were young and hungry for life and mysteries, there were parties about 5 days the week and I wasn't willing to miss one of them if it could be helped. And then there were the party songs: songs that were played at every party. And one thing that was inevitably played at every party was "Blister in the Sun" by Violent Femmes - even if it usually scared half the crowd from the dance floor.
I really liked the Femmes back then and bought almost all their albums. My best friend was an even more devoted follower. After I moved to Hamburg, she kept coming whenever the Violent Femmes were playing there. A Violent Femmes Concert is a straight forward affair. Special effects: 0. Fun: 100.

The Band was founded in Wisconsin in 1980. The main members Gordon Gano (lead vocals/guitar - one of these hyper-active seeming charismatic shorties - middle in the pictures), Brian Ritchie (bass guitar/vocals - right in the picture) and Victor deLorenzo (Drums/vocals - left in the picture). Usually what they produce with their vocal cords and instruments is labelled as Alternative Rock or more to the point as Folk-Punk, a musical genre to which the Violent Femmes served as midwifes. What you can expect is this: honest hand made guitar-focused music - sometimes quiet but more often fast and angry. Add the simplest of drum set in professional music. DeLorenzo is a purist, without a big organ of drums and fancy thingys or - God forbid! - beat machines, just a basic set, often less than that. On top of that comes Ganos voice which is absolutely unique. Mind - I did not say beautiful! His voice has a disctinctive whine and has the charm of a rusty chainsaw. It does however work very well for the rebellious, explicit and sulky content of their song texts. Imagine someone singing "I dig the black girls", "Add it up" or "Gimme the car" with a beautiful melodious voice - no one would take them serious. Let Gano screech like a madman and suddenly everything makes sense. Can he sing? I'm not sure, sometimes the songs have a few dissonants - but not only in the voice. And then again in the more quiet songs like "See My Ships", "I know it's true but I'm sorry to say" or "Good Feeling" he can convince despite the fact that he has a voice like talking through a beer can, so maybe he really is a good singer. Or maybe that is not really all that important. In the end what counts is that the Violent Femmes helped form something original, new and off the beaten tracks. You don't hear that much of them today - the last album was released 2002. I guess the high times of Folk-Punk are gone, the members have acquired the feared 4B's (Belly, Beard, Bald Spot & Boring Clothes). But I am sure that just as in my own musical selection they are still remembered fondly by many other people that vanished from the dance floor whenever the undancably fast and erratic beats of "Blister in the Sun" bellowed from the speakers.
And since the text is so comfortably short and simple and speaking (and because the text to "Add it up" is a bit too blunt and rude to print this early in our blogging relationship) I want to give you the lyrics to "Fat", one of my favourite Femmes Songs:

Fat

I hope
you got
fat
cause if you got
really fat
you just might want to see me come back
I don't care
how heavy or how skinny
just gimme
something to love
a little extra weight would never look no nicer on nobody else but you
and I could always use a little bit more
to hold on to
and if I get a fright in the middle
of the night I'll cling to you