Parallel Universe: If I had become a nun

When I was in 8th grade in school my class made a trip to the island of Helgoland in the North Sea. The day we went there it was very stormy, we went by boat and I am one of these bad travellers - especially not compatible with boats and other rocking transport devices. Already on the trip there I (and half the other passengers too) was hanging over the railing having a close second look at my breakfast from hours earlier. I was miserable. The waves were high. The boat was going not forward, but upwards and downwards. I was sure, that my life was about to end any moment now. So little 14 year old me made a deal with the maker: if I would survive the trip, I would enter a cloister and devote my life to good deeds.

As you can read, I lived to tell the tale. And no: I never became a nun. I don't think the maker regrets that I don't hold my side of the bargain - it's not like he made a big loss of me. Or rather I guess the effects of me joining a nunnery could have served the church a fatal blow.

Thinking back to that day, I can't help rolling my eyes about my own blue-eyed-ness. Not only to make such promises without knowing if I would survive (employees onboard the ship did not look bothered at all, so in retrospective I think that we weren't really in danger of visiting sunken Atlantis), but also the pure thought to dedicate my life to a thing at which I ... well ... suck. I have great respect to all people that are religious and to all people that are that devoted to their ethics that they live an altruistic life to help others. But I am not cut out for that, I am sure. I like to slumber and indulge myself in reading romances, mysteries, mangas and all kinds of trivial stuff. There were moments when I have felt moved at church but mostly I am not convinced of the existence of god. It's more like I hope there is someone watching and adding sense to life, but deep down I also fear there isn't.

But - back on track. Let's say I would have held the thoughtless promise I made when I was 14. Maybe finished school and then entered a convent. Whoever thinks of this must guess that this was the shortest of blogs if I restricted my writing to just this imagination. Because I can't imagine myself as a nun. Maybe a RP nun in a big black outfit, a flashy svarovsky cross over the chest, pointed high heels hinting at secrets hidden under the robe - it's not my first choice RP, but I find it easier to imagine than the real thing. The real nun-me in that particular parallel universe would obviously be unmarried and childless, probably reading a lot. I imagine historical novels should hopefully be okay. But apart from this my mind is a complete blank in this.

I guess that I did not become a nun, was for the better - for everybody involved. And even if I sometimes feel bad for the un-kept promise, I do not really regret that this particular parallel universe is very, very far removed from reality.