The Ladybird Incident

Last Night was one of these nights. If you are a mother you know what I mean. If you know a mother you have heard of what I mean.
It must have been around 3 am this morning. I and little Lucy (our youngest) we were soundly sleeping. We are both upstairs. The twins share a room in the basement. So at that time I woke up hearing my son Mark crying. Just a few seconds later he came running upstairs, burst into my bedroom sobbing and screaming "Mama, Mama! I have a ladybird up my nose".
What a scenario to wake up to in the middle of the night! (and after going to bed much too late ...)
I got up, checked the nostrils (without trace of any ladybirds, but one nostril was slightly bleeding) the room and the much calmer sister and tried to work out what must have happened.
So this is the most likely story:
They must have woken up, got up and started to play quietly so as not to wake me up (how considerate). But currently the cold season is starting for real in Germany and just the last week we found several ladybirds indoors, who thought the climate in our living room more hospitable than the cold outside. So apparently the children were playing and found a ladybird in their room. However it came to that - apparently Mark wanted to pick it up and the ladybird flew and flew directly into his nostril. Mark believes that the ladybird thought his nose was a ladybird cave and that it had intentions to settle down there. In his panic he started picking his nose so much that not only the ladybird came out but he also got a nosebleed. We found the ladybird on the carpet - it was unharmed, but looked a bit dazed.
It's the stuff that legends are made out of.

So behold Mark - proud owner of an inbuilt ladybird cave - currently uninhabitated.

Parallel Universe: If I had become a nun

When I was in 8th grade in school my class made a trip to the island of Helgoland in the North Sea. The day we went there it was very stormy, we went by boat and I am one of these bad travellers - especially not compatible with boats and other rocking transport devices. Already on the trip there I (and half the other passengers too) was hanging over the railing having a close second look at my breakfast from hours earlier. I was miserable. The waves were high. The boat was going not forward, but upwards and downwards. I was sure, that my life was about to end any moment now. So little 14 year old me made a deal with the maker: if I would survive the trip, I would enter a cloister and devote my life to good deeds.

As you can read, I lived to tell the tale. And no: I never became a nun. I don't think the maker regrets that I don't hold my side of the bargain - it's not like he made a big loss of me. Or rather I guess the effects of me joining a nunnery could have served the church a fatal blow.

Thinking back to that day, I can't help rolling my eyes about my own blue-eyed-ness. Not only to make such promises without knowing if I would survive (employees onboard the ship did not look bothered at all, so in retrospective I think that we weren't really in danger of visiting sunken Atlantis), but also the pure thought to dedicate my life to a thing at which I ... well ... suck. I have great respect to all people that are religious and to all people that are that devoted to their ethics that they live an altruistic life to help others. But I am not cut out for that, I am sure. I like to slumber and indulge myself in reading romances, mysteries, mangas and all kinds of trivial stuff. There were moments when I have felt moved at church but mostly I am not convinced of the existence of god. It's more like I hope there is someone watching and adding sense to life, but deep down I also fear there isn't.

But - back on track. Let's say I would have held the thoughtless promise I made when I was 14. Maybe finished school and then entered a convent. Whoever thinks of this must guess that this was the shortest of blogs if I restricted my writing to just this imagination. Because I can't imagine myself as a nun. Maybe a RP nun in a big black outfit, a flashy svarovsky cross over the chest, pointed high heels hinting at secrets hidden under the robe - it's not my first choice RP, but I find it easier to imagine than the real thing. The real nun-me in that particular parallel universe would obviously be unmarried and childless, probably reading a lot. I imagine historical novels should hopefully be okay. But apart from this my mind is a complete blank in this.

I guess that I did not become a nun, was for the better - for everybody involved. And even if I sometimes feel bad for the un-kept promise, I do not really regret that this particular parallel universe is very, very far removed from reality.

Eternal Life

I don't know how old I was, when I learned, that we all - including myself - have to die one day. But I do remember, that I did not really believe it. Or want to believe it. I have always had a fear of death. And I am still not exactly looking forward to my last day, but I have realised that the alternative is not necessarily a good thing either.
Eternal life. Sounds good at first glance. Maybe. Maybe if you are a vampire, if you don't age, if you have something that will keep you hooked eternally ... wait ... what would that be? No hobby, I think. Imagine being an immortal tennis player. Even if you have eternal youth to boot, I am sure the decline of your interest and a massive tennis arm are premeditated. Imagine you have been pursuing chess for over 350 years. You know every charade by heart, few surprises left and you must be feeling heartily sick of black and white.
One of my friends grandfathers has reached a very high age of - I don't know 108 or so (still ongoing as far as I know). I hear he is not really overjoyed by his longevity. And if you think about - why would he be? Imagine something like this: The last of your pals died over 20 years ago and you have to witness the death of all of your five children (who says just because you age to over 100, your children do as well?) . Your bones ache (no eternal youth here!), no one takes you serious, you don't understand half a thing when you open the newspaper, watch TV or try to follow the conversions of the currently active generations (politicians come and go and wtf is a computer?). It would not be your world anymore. I think I would feel out of place, underappreciated, lost and deserted. And most of all I would miss the people I love.

Here I have a picture for you showing Minegawa Yone who passed away August 2007 at the age of 114. She still seemed quite fit for her age. But how many elderly people aren't and are plagued by pains here or there, by incontentinence, dementia and young relatives who only come to visit because they hope to get a decent share out of the inheritence in your hopefully-not-to-far-away future? Does that sound like fun? Not to me.
Maybe I could put up with some of the disadvantages. Maybe I would be lucky and stay healthy with only minor complaints, maybe I could manage to stay mentally sound and fit and keep up with technology, but if I imagine that I might have to see my children die before me, I really know that eternal life is not for me - unless I can share it with my family and friends.

Stressed Out

October is a month that I mark red in the calender. Already in spring I feel its gloomy shadow looming in the foreseeable future. The reason is: in October I have to survive my twins' birthday. This year I barely managed to restrict the number of invited children to 20, so including my own three brats, I will be Snowwhite to a villainous gang of 23 dwarfs. Last year we were only 16 if I remember right and I barely lived through the event. It was especially difficult as we were celebrating the party at home and had children with very different tastes. Some did not want to come out to play outdoors in the garden. Some did not want to go back inside. Some did not want any cake. And two children were temporarily lost and were later found upstairs in my bed playing ghosts. This year - in the probably vain hope of not losing the overview - I have arranged for a birthday party at an indoors playground and activity center. The big day is now closing in: it's already next tuesday, so in just another 4 days.

This is of course one of the reasons why you haven't really read any new posts here lately. Other reasons include my intensive back-on-horseback-riding-classes and me being overdue with work for a deadline of the magazine for which I write.
But while nothing has been posted here, I have several blogs already under construction. So for sometime late next week you can look forward to blogs about an absolutely drool-worthy yaoi anime-series, sex for sale, living forever and horses and riding. I also have two more installments for my "parallel universe"-series under construction - one about my life in medieval times and one about my life in a nunnery.