The Ladybird Incident

Last Night was one of these nights. If you are a mother you know what I mean. If you know a mother you have heard of what I mean.
It must have been around 3 am this morning. I and little Lucy (our youngest) we were soundly sleeping. We are both upstairs. The twins share a room in the basement. So at that time I woke up hearing my son Mark crying. Just a few seconds later he came running upstairs, burst into my bedroom sobbing and screaming "Mama, Mama! I have a ladybird up my nose".
What a scenario to wake up to in the middle of the night! (and after going to bed much too late ...)
I got up, checked the nostrils (without trace of any ladybirds, but one nostril was slightly bleeding) the room and the much calmer sister and tried to work out what must have happened.
So this is the most likely story:
They must have woken up, got up and started to play quietly so as not to wake me up (how considerate). But currently the cold season is starting for real in Germany and just the last week we found several ladybirds indoors, who thought the climate in our living room more hospitable than the cold outside. So apparently the children were playing and found a ladybird in their room. However it came to that - apparently Mark wanted to pick it up and the ladybird flew and flew directly into his nostril. Mark believes that the ladybird thought his nose was a ladybird cave and that it had intentions to settle down there. In his panic he started picking his nose so much that not only the ladybird came out but he also got a nosebleed. We found the ladybird on the carpet - it was unharmed, but looked a bit dazed.
It's the stuff that legends are made out of.

So behold Mark - proud owner of an inbuilt ladybird cave - currently uninhabitated.

Apocalypse Now!

I'm a mother of three children, all of them in kindergarden. I used to think of myself as a calm, reflected person with an unshakeable patience. These days are gone forever though. In my pre-children life I did not even know I had it in me to scream or to lose it completely. Now I have developed into a part-time general and if your country ever needs someone to organize a small invasion - just give me a call.
The last two days our kindergarden was closed because the teachers were on training. It's times like that that makes you realize that they should be all be walking around with their chest decorated with medals for public service and peace keeping. Tomorrow kindergarten will re-open and I will be waiting at its gate at point 8.00 a.m. with all my three unruly heirs in tow. I can't wait.

Don't take me wrong, it's fun having children and I wouldn't want to miss any of my three brats. All the same they have a knack for settling me with a high blood pressure confliction. As when today my eldest daughter (5, left in the picture) decided she was made to be a hair dresser and cut her little sisters (3, right in the picture) hair. Poor Lucy, she never had any hair to spare in the first place and was so proud a few weeks ago with her first tiny thin little pigtail, which was so frail that it never really lasted long anyway!
Or when today the youngest thought it was a great game to empty a full box of pins into my (!) bed. (She is not daft, of course she doesn not empty them in her own bed.)
And I really thought it was the end of days, when I realized that my five-year old twins can now reach up into the sweety shelf if they stand on a stool. Our supply of chocölates, cookies and all other sweets have dwindled into dangerous all-time low levels. These are sometimes my only way of keeping them in line. I was so happy when they started to understand the if-then-system of cause and symptom. Like: "If you tidy your room, I'll give you a lollipop." or "If you keep arguing with each other, I'll withhold your daily portion of sweet things from you." No more, from now on it is survival of the fittest in our household.